DevoutNone has, in the past and often, been accused of being one sided. Although there is obvious bias that even our name suggests, I’d like to think the bias is warranted. Although we don’t necessarily want to promote Atheism. What DevoutNone really tries to do is promote the benefits of science and reason over faith-based decision making. Admittedly this is a very slight difference, but an important one at that. So, in an effort to be as unbiased as possible, we present you with DevoutNone’s 5 Tips To Keeping Your Faith.
1. Don’t go to church.
Most Christians don’t go to church on a regular basis and you don’t have to either. Sitting for and hour or more listening to a Pastore talk about the same book every week of your life doesn’t sound like fun and it’s sure doesn’t help in keeping your faith. If you spend your Sunday morning’s going to the local choir preachings you’re sure to lose faith as quicker than Jesus can turn water in to wine. Church is boring and smells of old people. You’re the new breed of young, twittering, good smelling Christians.
2. Stop reading The Bible.
Many Christians make the mistake of thinking they can rely on the bible during struggling times. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Filled with logical fallacies and malicious dogma, The Bible is the biggest enemy to keeping your faith since the snake of the garden. Unless your from the same clothe as renown bigot and late Fred Phelps, most anything The Bible says will conflict with your own personal morals. It is hard to deny that The Bible bursting at the seems with horrifying accounts of murder, rape, racism, and slavery. Take Psalms 137 which states “Happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us. He who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.” That’s right, be happy by killing babies. Turns out the Christian Anti-Abortion movement is blasphemy in and of itself. Someone should tell Nancy Grace.
3. Watch as much Fox News as you possibly can.
I know, sometimes Bill O’Reilly can be a bit much. Strident is an understatement. No one ever said there wouldn’t be a few bumps on the road to keeping your faith. If you want to be the envy of your church (of which you don’t attend, see tip 1.) you’re going to have to make a few sacrifices. This means wading through the Fox News waters until you agree with everything they say. Fox News is a bubble of intellectual suicide. Brilliant in it’s approach and enviable in it’s focus, no opposing ideas ever enter the Fox News cloud. With such amazing quotes like “I went to the movie this weekend with a gun. And surprise, surprise, I didn’t kill anybody!” (Glenn Beck) and the infamous “The tide comes in and it goes out, Mr. Silverman. It always comes in, and always goes out. You can’t explain that” (Bill O’Reilly) you’re sure to keep facts away and faith inside.
4. Date only people found on Christian only dating websites.
Before DevoutNone started I had no idea Christian only dating websites even existed. However, when I started to see the ads pop up on the sidebar I wasn’t exactly surprised. Although not something I would do myself, if you’re a Christian struggling with keeping your faith, why not try out Christian Mingle or Christian Cafe. Sure you could sign up for eHarmony and used Christian only search terms, but then the risk runs of being contacted by an “outsider.” The most influential force that could stop you from keeping your faith is the process of conversing with someone that holds opposing views. Don’t let someone else’s knowledge and facts change the way you believe things are. Stay strong and stay reclusive.
5. Remove yourself from all science related studies.
Proven by the ridiculous efforts of the Discovery Institute (A organization determined to get biblical creationism taught in science classes), scientific facts and biblical “facts” just don’t play well together. This fight for public trust came to head when Bill Nye debated creationist Ken Ham this past February at the Creationism Museum. The bible tells us the Earth is less than six thousand years old. Science tells us the age of the Earth is closer to 4.6 billion years. We can’t all be correct. So when keeping your faith, this is where you have a choice. You can be regarded as a fundamentalist and take everything the bible tells you literally or you can throw out the bible (which we recommend, see tip 2) and play the god of the gaps game. Although don’t think using the god of the gaps method saves you from avoiding science. As Neil deGrasse Tyson puts it, “…If that’s how you want to invoke your evidence, then god is en ever-receding pocket of scientific ignorance.”
So there you have it. Those are our 5 tips to keeping your faith. Of course this is coming from a source that holds no faith at all so take the words with a grain of salt. Did we miss some tried and true methods? Let us know in the comments your tips to keeping your faith strong.
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